No matter what your feelings are about Social Media, it is here, at least for now, to stay. That sentence may be contradictory in any other context except for technology. Change happens very quickly with ones and zeros, which makes keeping up with that change very challenging, especially as a parent. Knowing what’s out there is the first step. I hope to help with that part of it. It’s not just Facebook any more. In fact, Facebook appears to be giving up some ground to the other sites, maybe because the kids think Facebook is for the “old folk” now (those of us over 20). Armed with that knowledge, it’s important to know what potential dangers exist and how to keep yourself and your family safe. I don’t think the answer is to run around in circles shouting that the sky is falling. Neither is it to sit idly by, thinking that you’re probably immune from that danger and your children likely learn good habits from their school or more “tech savvy” friends’ parents. The most important thing is education, for you and the children of the world. Obviously I don’t mean educating them on the use of social media – that works a lot better the other way around. Knowing the dangers, you should be teaching what not to do and why, and to take responsibility for what they have access to and how they access it.
I like to think about the internet as being everything. What I mean by that is that if something or someone exists in the real world, it also exists online. The personality types that you might meet, for instance, in a dark alley behind a strip club after taking a wrong turn are also online. The only difference is that they are now magnified by their anonymity, grouped together in clubs, and armed with access to EVERYONE. I will refer to these people now as “super creeps”.
The sites and services: The following is a list of the main social media platforms and the percentage of teens between 13 and 17 that use them (yes, I said 13 but there are users far younger):
Facebook – 71%
Instagram – 52%
Snapchat – 41%
Twitter – 33%
Google+ – 33%
Vine – 24%
Tumblr – 14%
Other – 11%
Not mentioned in this list are the video sharing sites such as YouTube, Vimeo, and MetaCafe.
The devices: The internet has gone mobile. It’s much harder to know what’s going on when your children aren’t sitting down in the middle of the family room at your family’s only computer. There are varying reports of what percentage of kids have or have access to mobile devices, but they all come in somewhere between “high” and “staggeringly high”. Why is this an issue? Phones, of course, have a camera, social media and texting apps, and can be used to access the internet from anywhere and any time. Not a great recipe. Remember the super creeps? It’s important to know though that interaction is now possible on all kinds of devices. Laptops, mobile phones, mp3 players, gaming consoles and all kinds of other devices have internet connectivity, even some fridges!
The Dangers: I will go into each of these and others further in future posts but for now, here are some basics:
Cyberbullying – We’ve all heard about the reports of cyberbullying. The extreme cases, as have been reported, sometimes result in suicide. Many less severe cases either go unreported or are made light of, but can have long-lasting effects. Cyberbullying includes sending hateful messages or even death threats to children, spreading lies about them online, making nasty comments on their social networking profiles, or creating a website to bash their looks or reputation.
Sexual Predators – It may be that as much as half of all child sexual exploitation takes place on social media. A sobering stat suggests that about 1 in 7 children have at some point been sexually solicited online.
Reputation Damage – The backlash of a damaged reputation is a growing concern. Schools and employers are now routinely doing some investigation of their applicants through social media sources. In addition to this, relationships at school or work or in the community can be damaged by inappropriate posts or provocative pictures.
Mental – Social media can be very addictive. Studies conclude that children who spend more time using computers, watching TV and playing video games tend to experience higher levels of emotional distress, anxiety and depression.
The biggest weapon: Knowledge. I know that’s not a complete sentence to start this paragraph but that leads to my point that it’s pretty powerful on its own. If you know what the technology is capable of and what the potential risks are, you can better educate your children. This means diving into the nitty gritty of the privacy settings (which very inconveniently seem to change regularly). Each service is required to spell them out for people who are willing to read them.
The simple rules: These rules are not a complete defence but should get you started in the right direction. All children should follow these rules (and adults too).
1) Realize that everything shared is shared with the world, not just the recipient.
2) Think before posting. Posts can not be taken back. Depending on the service, they might be able to be deleted, but there is never any way of knowing if they went any further.
3) Never meet in person.
4) Be as anonymous as possible.
5) Check comments regularly. Sometimes it’s not the posts but the reactions to them that contain the inappropriate content.
6) Don’t be afraid to report inappropriate content or behaviour.
7) Realize that people may not be who they say they are.
The advice: I’m no authority on these matters but, as a parent myself, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to make an informed decision about when children are mature enough to start using social media and then to make rules to govern their use. I would suggest requiring that you are present initially as the service is being used and learned. It is during this time that the dangers should be outlined. At this time also, an expectation should be established that the parents always reserve the right to review the content of their account at any time.
As I said, I’ll go a little deeper in future posts. For now, get reading those privacy controls, formulating strategies and talking to your kids, neighbours, friends, and coworkers!
Author: Steve Roe
